Kisses and chaos
by gageki.san
Summary: Dib has turned emo in the past 2 years Zib has been on earth. He lately just realized that he might have feelings for Zim. Name changed from 'What do you want' to 'Kisses and chaos' cause friend of mine told me that that name had already been taken. :/ Bad luck Gageki. :c
1. Beginning

**Hey, how you doin? ^^ So, this is my ZaDr story I've been thinkin about lately.**  
**Zim has been in earth for two years, and both Zim and Dib have turned through the years a bit emo. Dib is a bit more emo than Zim, but through this story he becomes a emokid too. c:**  
**Sorry for my bad grammar and misspelling at some point.**

**Warning: Contains **

**- Mild language**

** - Mild yaoi **

**- ZaDr - Emos**

**Enjoy!** .. I guess.

* * *

-Zim's POV-

Another useless morning in school. What are we gonna do here anyway? We just sit still in cold classroom while teacher keeps repeating _'doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom..._' It's still quite weird that our teacher at the moment is the same one we had 2 years ago. Yes, You know it, Ms. Bitters. I wonder why she's always so depressing and... Bitter, I guess. I look at the clock. It's about 5 minutes to the freedom. For some reason, everything doesn't feel like always. Something is different, i just cant get it into my mind what.  
_'Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom- Get out of my sight'_, our teacher hissed at us.  
I went to my locker to put my books back to my locker, and went out side.  
I was stunned. Everything was so cold all of sudden, the ground was a bit slippery and it had this small dust-like layer on it. On the ceiling there was some dagger-shaped sticks that dripped this acid called water. Everything was whiter and the sky was grey. What the hell is going on?!

There I stood, as other kids went home, i didnt take a single step out of our school shelter. Dib came out of the door.  
'Zim, why are you still here?' He wondered.  
'What is this sorcery? Everything has changed since morning! What are those...** THING** attached to the ceiling? Why are they dripping water? Are they sources of that poison?' I yelled  
'Oh, It sure is colder out side. Seems like winter is coming, finally. I haven't seen snow in years. Those things on the ceiling are called icicles , and they are dripping water maybe because they are melting.'He said  
'Whin-ther?'  
'Winter is the time of year when earth gets really cold.' Dib explained  
I nodded for the sign of unterstood, and headed my way to home. Dib came along.

After I walked a while, I started shivering. I felt like my skin was gonna sever.  
Dib took his jacket off, and offered it to me.  
'Aren't you gonna get cold?' I asked, but he shaked his head.  
I putted his jacket on, and it was **HUGE**. But it sure was warm, and so very soft.

-Dib's POV-

I walked Zim back to home, while he wore my jacket. I got to admit that i was a bit cold, but i tried not to shiver. He kept asking me if i was cold, but i answered negatively in all his questions.

When we arrived Zim's house, i stood with him on his doorstep, as he gave me my jacket back. Zim instantly started getting shivers from the cold air, and reflex-likely he grabbed his doorknob, but then stopped, looked at me and asked  
'would you like to come in?'  
I shaked my head, but in my mind i just kept screaming 'What are you doing!? Dont say no! You could spend more time with him!', but it was one of those moments when you just say no to your mind.

I saw that Zim was seriously getting cold, and I just didnt think what I were doing so I closed my eyes, came slowly closer to him, and hugged the green disguised alien.  
It felt so wrong to hug ZIM, but yet... still so right. I had really mixed feelings at the moment.. I despised Zim with all my heart.. but still, this feel.. like i had wated for this so long. Everything went quiet at the second i wrapped my arms aroung the small guy. I couldnt feel the ground under my feet, all the sounds around muted, all i felt was Zim's shivering and small struggling...  
and then i stopped feeling that too. He wasn't struggling anymore, heactually hugged me back.  
I have no idea how long this lasted, but it felt like hours.. but still not enough.

I released him from my hold, instead of my eyes he looked at his shoes.  
'please zim, look at me.' i asked.  
And like a lightning, you flew inside your house. There was a complete silence, i just standed there on Zim's outstairs. I leaned my back to his outdoor, and looked at the sky. 'what the hell did i just do?..' i asked myself, and slided down to the ground to sit.

I stayed there for a while, asking myself questions 'Why did i do it? How am i gonna be able to talk to him again? Is he gonna think i like him? Do i like him?' I cant hug Zim like that... He not gay for sure, so I guess he's propably thinkin now that I am gay. And I dunno, maybe I am.

Then something broke the silence, a very familiar sound.  
'Hey, big head. Sooooo... you gonna leave or what?'  
'Um, yeah. Im on my way..'

I took my way to home. As I entered my house, I went to my room.  
I sat down in front of my desktop, and pushed my head onto my hands, like they were a pillow on my desktop.  
'Oh my god.. is this really what i think it is.. I mean I did feel nervous around Zim couple weeks before this, but I thought it would go away. I was, once again, so wrong. I'm not good handling these kind of things!' I thought.

I had a mirror on my wall, that showed me completely from head to toe, it was a pretty tall mirror.  
I took a look at myself, tried to look for something that Zim could fall in love with. I find completely nothing in and on me that he could like. Of course, it was just a friendhug... to him.

I returned my desktop, it had a notebook on it. I took a pencil and continued my small hobby, writing poems. I could never tell about it to Zim, he would think I'm extremely girly.  
I wonder what he's doing...

* * *

_WOW. Now, wasnt that a boring beginning._  
_I swear, it'll get better. ^^'''  
__Well, I guess beginnings are always kinda boring.  
_

_Next chapter coming up! 3_


	2. Time to change

**WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE part2! \n w n/  
This chapter isn't THAT interesting, the interesting part starts at the next chapter when Zim has be- OOPS! I need to learn to shut my mouth in time. o v o But anyway, this isn't too boring, so do read this if you want to.  
Then it's easier to unterstand the feels and stuff later in the coming chapters.  
Enjoy~**

* * *

-Normal POV-

Zim is in his livingroom watching the tv. A commercial shows up: Rockers playing sad music ' Buy our new CD! '

Zim Looks confused at the television. 'Were they wearing...that thing that earthwomen put on their faces, what was it.. _makeup_? Well, it looked good on them, Zim has to admit.' He says to himself.  
He turns the TV off, and lies down on the couch.  
'What was up with Dib earlier? Why on Irk did he hug me?  
Could it be.. that he likes me? Could it be possible?... propably not. Were different species.'

Zim feels a bit depressed.  
Zim sits up, and thinks what would make him look more attractive.  
Then he gets a flashback of that commercial that he saw just a while ago, the men in it looked really handsome and succesful. Zim looked at his clothes: White shirt, black tight jeans and shoes. 'Zim likes the way they looked... maybe if I try that too? Just a bit? It wouldnt harm anyone. And actually, I think dark kind of clothes would suit Zim.'  
He jumps off the couch and goes to his lab.  
'Okay, lets start of what should go away.  
Gloves?** NO. They shall stay.**  
New wig? Maybe,yeah.  
My pants should stay.  
Maybe I could find a new shirt and shoes and...'  
Zim stays in his lab, mumbling to himself.

-Dib's POV-

The more i think about it, the more i hope this is nothing more than a small crush. It would be painful for sure to fall in love with alien soldier who would never love me back.

I keep writing my poem that i was working on.

_Heart is a disfunctional maschine,_  
_it's always lacking parts,_  
_and missing its oil,_  
_trying to find them both, or then die._

_Wrong parts cant be used, they wnt even fit,_  
_they just make it all worse,_  
_break the heart bit by bit._

_Til the oil is out,_  
_and parts start to break, the heart disfunctional,_  
_is starting to ache._

_The pain and melancholiness,_  
_seemed to cease,_  
_did i really find,_  
_the on missing piece?_

_Plastic pieces can be found,_  
_and they never really last  
but the golden one  
is finally in my hands_

_Are you the right one  
to work with my heart  
I desperately want to know  
are you the missing part?_

I jump off my chair, take a pillow from my bed right next to me, and punch it.

**'This is bullshit!**  
**How come i cant even make a simple poem to express myself?**  
**I cant do anything! I cant find love, i cant convince everyone that Zim is an alien, i cant reveal the paranormal secrets, i cant get any friends, i cant get rid of the stamp that im insane! How am i such a loser?!****'  
**  
Silence follows.

I throw the pillow on to my bed, and i kneel on the floor and let the tears flood.

'Im so pathetic...'

People have always talked that no one should cut themselves, for some reason people have told it especially for me.  
Im not too familiar with it, i find it scary.  
I dont like sharp objects too much, neither scars.

I make a _long sigh_, and stand up from the floor, and take a look at my clock, its 10 pm. Maybe its time to go to sleep.  
I pick my phone, set up an alarm to wake me up, leave it to the table next to my bed.  
It takes me a while to fall asleep, but after some time i finally fall in the sweet imaginary world of dream.

-Next day, Dib's POV-

I wake up to the ring of the alarm i setted last night.  
I put on my basic clothes, go to bathroom to brush my teeth and do my basic morning stuff.  
There's a medium size mirror in the bathroom. I look like shit:  
Black mohawk, black long jacket and blue t-shirt under it.  
Long-ish black pants, chains hanging on them. I look the same as always, shit.  
But this is the best i can do to my appearance. These are the only clothes that suit me at least a bit.  
I look at my ear and my face: 4 piercings on the left ear, none on my right ear, on my face there's two piercings on my both eyebrows, one tongue piercing, one bridge, septum, and one piercing on my downer lip on the middle. I love every single one of my piercing, I have done them all by myself, and I'm really proud of them.

* * *

Author's note: Yo! If someone doesnt get it, lemme help ya:  
Bridge: Piercing that comes to between your eyes, to your nose.  
Septum: Another nose piercing, will be attached middle to your nose, down. You know, between those holes where ya breath from. : D  
Sry for placing this here, but it would be stupid to put all this info in middle of all that text. ^^

* * *

I leave the bathroom, and return to my room. I have a small coat rack in my room right next to my door. I pick my backbag hanging from it and pick up some stuff such as headphones, gloves, a woolly hat, a scarf, and my notebook that i usually doodle some sketches out of boredom and poems.

Once I have packed my stuff, i take my headphones and hat out of my bag and put them on me. I close my backbag, run down stairs, and i hear Gaz yelling 'Dib! I hear you're coming, and before you even ask: No, you cant use the television now.'  
' Whatever. '  
'What did you say, you filth?'  
'I said whatever, i dont care.'  
Gaz gives me the most surprised look i have ever seen.  
'What is wrong with you? usually you insist to watch some TV before school.'  
'Not anymore.'  
'Im going to keep my eyes on you.' she said  
I open the door, its bit more chillier than yesterday.  
Good thing i got my hat on.  
I wonder if I should go to Zim's house, and go along with him to school.  
No way, i dont have enough courage to go get him after yesterday.  
It actually wasnt nothing big, just a hug.  
Except that he seemed to react quite radically to it.

I'll go alone then.  
I turn some music on, so i can listen it from my headphones i have on my head over my hat.  
When i arrive the hiskool, im almost late.  
Silly me, i just always tempt to walk slower when i listen to music.  
Almost late, but not quite.  
I enter my classroom and take my seat, which is behind Zim's, but he's not there.  
Where is he?

* * *

**Haha, that was a fast one. **  
**Sorry. There has always been, is now, and will always be some mistakes in my text.**  
**I'm so sorry, please dont kill me. **

**Anyway, Next chapter coming soon!**


	3. Rika strike's

**HEY! Third part is now here! n w n  
And just like all of these chapters, i write the whole chapter once. No breaks.  
Warning:  
-Mild language  
-Emos  
-ZaDr  
-Mild yaoi**

**ENJOY! o u o**

* * *

-Normal POV-

Zim stepped into class.

It's not that being late is anything new to him, but today it was different, **HE** was different.  
Half of class stared with admire, other half laughed at him and calling him names, but only one who was shocked, and it was Dib.  
The skinny green skinned boy that he had knewn decided suddenly wear new wig that almost covers one eye, black oversized hoodie that was so big that the sleeves went over his fingers, light pink shirt with a small heart stitched into the spot where humans would have their heart,_ who knows where Zim has it_, the same tight black jeans, with a suspender hanging from them, thick-soled white shoes, and piece of jewelry around his neck.  
He was** hot**. He had never looked so... **perfect**.

'How comes he all of a sudden wants to look like this?' Dib wondered in the dark mind of his.  
'Zim, not like I care about your excuses and your pathetic lies, but why are you late?' Ms. Bitters asked.  
'Didnt feel like coming yet.' Zim replied.  
As the class heard it, many were stunned that he didnt use any pityful shitty excuse like _'my spaceship broke, i was being chased by aliens'_ or so long..  
'Hmmh... Take your seat, boy.'  
Zim obeyed, and took his seat, one seat forward than Dib's.  
In few minutes everyone decided to focus to the teacher instead of Zim.  
But not Dib, he was still in shock about his friend's quick change.  
He passed a note to him over his shoulder.  
_'Why so dark all of sudden?'_ it said.  
Zim typed his reply, and passed it back.  
_'I decided to change something that I'm bit more comfortable with.'_  
Dib's heart was beating.  
He had always liked dark stuff, emos and so on, and now his crush had just became bit more interesting.  
He wasn't even sure anymore was a crush bad thing or not.  
It would have been bad, since the crush is Zim. Everyone knows that Dib and Zim has a hate-full past. But in other turn it would have been good, since Zim had just gained some respect from Dib.

As the lesson was finally over and the students ran out of the class.  
Zim headed to the cafeteria. Soon, Dib grabbed his wrist.  
'Zim, wait!' Dib yelled  
'Dib-human.. What do you want?' Zim wondered  
'About yesterday, I hope you're not bothered.'  
'By what?'  
'That hug...'  
'Oh that, no. It's not a big deal.'  
'Oh good. Imma come with you to the cafeteria.'  
No answer.

In the cafeteria, there was some girls that just kept staring at Zim, kinda flirty way.  
Some got the courage to talk to him, some were content to just stare from distance and wish he would notice them.  
Zim stood with Dib in a line with other students, waiting for their turn to take some food, and the green boy was annoyed by the attention he suddenly received from the opposite sex, but for once kept his mouth shut. He was actually in that line only for Dib's company.  
There was this one girl though that Zim liked.  
She had long black hair, was bit taller than he, and was wearing a blue dress. She was actually the only girl that Zim allowed to be in his company.  
Girl introduced herself finally to Zim, she revealed to be Rika.  
As Dib, and Rika took their food, they had to decide what table they took.  
'Hey Dibster, which one should we take?' Zim asked  
Dib was full of rage, but he just kept his mouth shut and leave the two alone.  
He took a table for himself from the corner of cafeteria.  
Zim was shocked how he rejected him, but Rika was pretty satisfied.  
She didn't give a single fuck about Dib, and was that something new? I mean, pretty much _everyone_ in this school hates him.  
The two took a table in the middle of the cafeteria, and they seemed to be pretty happy.  
'Hey Zim, I see you didnt take any food?'  
'Yeah.. i dont really like filthy school food.'  
'Tell me about it, this tastes like shit, but its the best we can get from here.'

As they talked, talked, and talked, Dib watched them from long distance.  
'Who the hell does she think she is? How she dares to talk to Zim?'  
He felt extremely jealous, and bitter about those two over there.  
They seemed to get along pretty well. Maybe too well.  
The rage coursed through his veins. The sadness filled his mind.  
_Jealous, Sad, Bitter, Unsure, depressed, suspicious, fearful, angry_... At the moment, Dib was a bit all of these.

Dib stood up quickly filled in frustration and bitterness, and leaved the cafeteria as fast as possible.  
He just couldn't keep watching those two.

Zim and Rika saw when he left the cafeteria. Rika laughed at him and Zim was worried, but for Rika's sake he tried to laugh too. They talked for a while, and then for some reason Dib decided to join them.  
'Hey, Dib.. what was that thing while ago?' Zim wondered  
'I just forgot something into my locker...' He lied

Rika leans into Zim's direction, and almost touches him. She smiles while she looks at his eyes.  
'So, Zim.. You're now emo, right..?' She said with a flirt in her voice  
'Define emo.' Zim replied blankly  
'Depressed, sad, emotional, dark..'  
'Sorta, yeah.'  
'Are you gay then? Most emos i know are gay.'  
'Whats gay?' He wondered  
Rika is surprised im doesnt know what the term means.  
'Well you know.. People who like ugly men with pink scarfs.'  
'Oh.. No, im not.'

Dib is devastated to listen their conversations.

After school, Rika wants to walk Zim to home.  
Dib walks in a long distance from them, but because he lives near Zim he has to go the same way.  
He's disgusted how that girl tries to seduce his crush.  
Part of him knows that Zim would never date that girl, but some part of him is afraid if _he's wrong once again._

As they arrived Zim's house, she leans to the white fence he has, and looks Zim right into the eyes.  
He feels a bit disturbed of how closely this girl acts at him.  
Dib is standing at his frontyard, next to the door and guarding what they are doing.

'You know Zim, i think you're really awesome guy, and handsome..'  
'Um.. thank you? You're pretty too, i guess...'  
Rika takes Zim's hand and leans into kiss.  
Dib sees this. Mixed emotions seethe inside of him, as he opens the door and runs instantly into his room.

**'EUGH! Ew, what do you think you're doing earthlady?!'**  
'You said that im pretty.'  
'Yes i did, but it doesnt mean i like you.'  
'So you, dont like me?'  
'LIKE YOU? I DONT LIKE GIRLS AT ALL.'  
'But you told you're not gay..'  
'No, i said i dont like UGLY men with PINK scarfs.'  
Awkward silence follows...

-Dib's POV-

I knew it.  
I knew he would never like me.  
I knew he wasn't gay.  
I knew this was a huge mistake.  
What am I gonna do now...  
I cant look at him without getting nervous, but he would never reply my feelings.  
I cry my eyes off, as Gaz snickers to me.  
She gives behind my back this mean smirk to me, but then she starts to feel bad.  
.. Or i dont know was it pity.  
All i know she left me alone in my misery.

* * *

**AAAAAGGHHH I feel so bad for writing this!~ ; n ;  
Shhhhhh Dib-baby, Shhhh dont you cry, Its gonna be alright... Just dont cry. **

**Oh, btw. Rika isn't any canon character, but everyone propably knew that.  
She's just some bitchy OC i came up with. ^^''**

**Looks like this is gonna be one long story... **

**Chapter 4 coming up!~**


	4. Lost meaning of life

**Hey, lovelies! o w o/**  
**I'm glad you clicked THIS fanfic. ^^ i appreciate it A LOT.**  
**And, yeah. If you don't like ZaDr (Zim and Dib romance) don't be a bitch about this, just drink red bull and fly away.  
And yes, as always: Reviews are wanted!**

**Warning:**  
**- Blushy schoolgirls-boys**  
**- Mild yaoi[so far]**  
**- ZaDr**

* * *

**- Next day[Saturday morning], Dib's POV -**

_''The kombucha mushroom people, sitting around all day''_

Mmmmhmhmm...

_''Who can believe you, who can believe you''_

What the living hell..

_''Let your mother pray..''_

*grumble*

_''**Sugarrrrr**''_

*mumbling* I don't wanna wake up... noooohhh...

_''Well I'm not there all the time you know Some people, some people, some people, call it insane Yeah they call it insane._  
_[ **Sugarrrr** ]''_

*Mumbling at the same time with song through pillow* ' sugar...heh'

_''I play russian roulette everyday, a man's sport, with a bullet called life Yeah, called life [ **sugar** ]''_

'Sugar... hehehe'

_''You know that every time i try to go where i really want to be it's already where i am **CAUSE IM ALREADY HERE''**_

At the last part i jump up on my knees on my bed ' **CAUSE IM ALREADY HERE** '

Then I sing along

' **The kombucha mushroom people, sitting around all day, who can believe, who can believe you , let your mother praaayyy... SUGAAARRRRR**! '

Then i realize why the music is playing: my cellphone is ringing.  
I pick it up.

' Yo? '

'Hey Dibbie! how you doing darling?'

'Oh my god.. are you..'

'The one and only Keef!'

'We never were friends, we havent talked since 4th grade, and now you call me... * i watch the clock* 8 am. What the fuck, man?'

'Haha, oh you. I just wanna know how ya doing? and umm... how is Zim doing?'

'Keef, we have talke- wait, where did you get my number?'

'Haha, little details, no need to think about them. So, how's Zim?'

'I thought we had already gone through this. He doesn't want to be around you. He hates you. '

'I've changed, doll! And besides, Zim liked me. It was YOU who didn't.'

'No, we both hated you, and you know it.'

'Does he have a cellphone?' he changes subject.

'No...' I lied.

'Oww, that's too bad. But dude, what is he like these days? Havent seen him in ages! Does he still use that pink futuristic suit?' He laughs.

'No, he swapped that away almost right away when we went to another school than you. Since then he wore my old white T-shirt and his same old jeans.  
But just lately he became a bit darker.'

'Hmm, okay then. I guess im gonna go now. Ciaooooooooooooo~ 3'

Damn, what a fag, what was the point of that call..  
I don't understand why he's so clingy towards Zim.  
I don't understand why anyone would be so clingy towards him. He's nothing special. Green skinned shorty who does nothing else but yells at people and fucks with school.

I sigh.  
Oh what am i trying to convince myself, he's a catch.  
No matter how hard i would try to think negatively about him, i'd still feel like this about him.  
But why ZIM? Why not someone normal?  
'Well, it's not like im gonna get him, apparently he already has someone else...'  
I was sitting on my bed. As i said that in my mind, i fell on my stomach and head against the pillow.  
' Mmmhhhpphh argh fucking hell...' I cursed as pillow muffled my words.  
' Fuck you Rika. ' I said out loud in my silent room.  
What a bitch.

I spend the rest of my day in my bed listening music, and cursing my life.

At some point i stopped caring about the world around me.  
' Dib, Breakfast!' Gaz yelled.

Nope, this man aint coming.

_'The kombucha mushroom people, sitting around all day..._'

I'm not gonna answer that call.

'Dibworm! Dinner! ' My sister yelled again.

As i heard calls for me through the day, i didn't answer any of them. I did nothing else but stay in my bed.

At evening, i guess it was 8 pm, Gaz came to my room.

'Hey filthbrain. Why the hell are you staying in here.'

'I'm...feeling sick.'  
'Dont you lie to me. i see when you're lying.'  
'Just please, leave.'

There was a silence, then i sigh by my dark sister.

'Fine. But when you're _not sick_ anymore were gonna talk this through.'  
And then she left.

Im actually surprised that she cares. Or maybe she doesn't, I don't actually know how to read my sister, which is actually quite embarrassing.  
While she reads me like one of those satanic insane books of her's, and i got no clue of her.

But for now.. all i care that I'm left alone.  
Ugh.. this empty feeling in my gut...

-Gaz's POV-

'Just please, leave.' my pathetic brother asked.

I looked at his desk. Theres a poem. Im close enough to the desk to read some words of it...  
... Something about love.  
Unbelievable! Does he have love problems?  
I sigh.  
'Fine. But when you're _not sick_ anymore were gonna talk this through.'  
And I left his disgusting room.

Who could it be? Only one who could be close to him, is that Zim.  
But that can't be him, they are constantly fighting.  
Whatever, i might go ask him anyway.

As i walked from my home to my annoying weird neighbour's house, i knock the door.  
'Why do I even care... ugh.'

The green kiddo opens the door.

'Dib's sister?'

'Hey.'

'Look, i don't have any-' He said until I interrupt him.

'What have you done to my brother?'

'What?'

'You heard me very-fucking-well, you shit.'

'I haven't done a single thing. Past few days we have gotten along pretty well. I think we are becoming better-er friends.'

'Its called better friends, and i don't believe you. Something is wrong with him'

'You mean..'

'Yea, more than usual.'

'Oh, how can you tell?'

'He doesn't eat, he doesn't speak, he doesnt even watch tv.  
All he does is stay in his dark stupid room and mope.'

'Well i get that moping, that's what he usually does... but not eating?  
Isnt eating necessary for five times per day for your species?'

'Correct, and not a single pieces has gotten drown from his throat.'

'Wow..why?

'apparently he has some stupid heartaches.'

'Oww.. who's the female?'

'Huh, all you can do is ask questions. I bet it's not a girl.'

'What?'

'Dib is gay. Has always been. He isn't interested in girls. He told it to be few years ago.'

Zim blushed a bit. Fucking great.

'Then... who's the lucky man?'

'You.'

His face turned all dark green.

**'Me?! There's no way it can be me!**'

'You're the only one who's so close to him.. and actually the only one he's so concerned.'

-Zim's POV-

'You're the only one who's so close to him.. and actually the only one he's so concerned.'

What the Irk!?  
I can feel my face blush, i can feel it becoming so much warmer.

'Are you sure about your information?'

'Of course i am. I saw a love poem on his desk.'

'Love po-um?'

'poem. Stupid piece of paper with stupid syrupy rhyming words about feelings and crap.'

I stand there silently.  
What can i say in this situation?  
My neighbour's sister comes to tell me Dib has feelings for me on cause of that he's feeling bad and not doing anything and writing words.

She stare's at me, apparently looking for an answer.

'..Well, off i go. But remember, im not gonna say this twice: _Everything you do, affects Dib._'

And so she leaves, and i close my door.  
I stand in my silent living room.  
Is this dream?

* * *

**Aaaahhh... I feel like nothing really happens in this one...**  
**I start to hate myself for not making them kiss and stuff already. **  
**When i start to write this, im like 'Ohhhhh! This one's gonna be really lovey-dovey one!'**  
**And in the halfway '... Nah, it's too soon.'**

**PART 5 COMING UP!**


	5. Because i care

**Hey! o w o  
I'm so happy i finally made this! w  
I've had lately some drama in my personal life, and so it has affected this small hobby.  
It might affect, but i ain't gonna stop. **

**ENJOY! **

* * *

-Zim's POV-

Maybe i should call him, to make sure he's okay? But if he wants to be alone... What if I'm bothering him...  
... I'm gonna call him.

First try:

No answer

Second one:

Not better luck on this try either

Third:

Nope.

fourth:

**'for the love of fuck, pick up!**' i curse out loud.

_*clack*_

- What? Who is this?

I cant make a single sound come out of my mouth. He sounds so... _different._  
His voice, so deep, simple, yet so sad and depressed.

- I-Is this really Dib?  
Are you o-okay?

- Zim?

At this point his voice cleared up. Wow man, wow.

- Y-yeah, I'm okay. Congrats btw for your new girlfriend.

- My new.. what?

- Girlfriend. Rika.

- She's a girl, yes... not much of a friend.

- Oh c'mon, i saw you two kissing.

- Listen me. She kissed me against my will.

- Now you listen me. We both know very fucking well that you would never let anyone do that.

- I was in a shock!

- Yea, tell me more lies please.

-** LISTEN! IF ZIM WOULD _'GO OUT'_ WITH RIKA AND WOULDNT GIVE A SINGLE SHIT ABOUT YOU, WOULD ZIM BE CALLING TO DIB NOW, WORRIED AS FUCK HOW YOU ARE?**

There is a small silence, then he answers

- Stop pretending, alien lizard. Go back to Rika or something, i dont care what you do.

- Fine. I'll leave you alone in your sorrow.

I close the phone without saying a thing.  
How dares he to talk to me like that? I'm worried for my life about him, and he yells at me.  
I let out a sigh meanwhile i get on my knees on the floor.  
The rage I had just felt still beats in my head.  
All that scorn and anger in him I heard through his voice... was almost scary.  
He seemed so aggressive.  
So... different.  
Why is he different?  
Why has he changed?  
I dont want my friend to change!  
**'Why?!**' I shoot out in the air as i lift my head to the ceiling.  
My face feels numb, except that I feel something warm and a bit heavy run down my cheeks.  
I wipe my cheeks, and get something caught on my claw-like hands.  
..tears? Haven't seen those for a while. Actually, in a pretty long while.  
'No, i cant be this weak ... it's not right to _cry_...~' Even though i try to convince this to myself, I cant help but let the hot tears flow down my face.

This wasn't our first fight, we used to fight constantly, and it was fun.  
But lately, we havent fought that much, and now fighting just hurts.  
It was so serious this time.

As the weekend went past, we still hadn't talked at all since that call. I probably shouldn't be worried, since he always manages to survive from every kind of thing, no matter how difficult it would be... But I am.

When the monday finally came, I _surprisingly_ wanted to go to skool.  
I wanted to see Dib.  
I wanted to fix this.  
I wanted to fix us.  
The road to skool I had taken every morning seemed today longer than ever.  
Even though I took really fast steps, it felt like I wasn't moving at all.  
When I **FINALLY** arrived school, everyone seemed to be surprised to see me.  
_'Is that Zim? he's in time._' I heard in the hallway.  
I went to class, and took my seat as the teacher closer the door.

Dib wasn't behind me.

I felt... i'm not even sure what i felt.  
It was a mix of disappointment, worry, sadness, fear... Everything i despise.  
Our teacher checks who's in class and who's not.  
Just before he was about to call Dib's name, there was someone knocking on the door.  
I paid attention to it more than any of these lazy assholes in our class.  
'Could it be him...?' i thought.  
Our teacher opened the door, and a _dark figure_ came in the room.  
'It's him!' I screamed in my head, i felt so happy to see him...  
... Well, at least until he turned to my direction and looked at me.  
I was scared. Frightened.  
It takes a lot to scare me, but i was _terrified._  
His hair, so lifeless.  
His skin, so pale.  
His face, so gloomy.  
His eyes, so dark and tired.  
His moves, so slow.  
He looked like he haven't slept in ages.  
He looked like he had lost his soul.  
He looked like he was in serious pain.  
He looked like something was stabbing his insides.  
He was really miserable thing to see.

He took his seat.  
Through the period, i felt really cold waves go down my back when he was behind me.  
Like... the so-called _grim reaper_ would have behind me.

As the lesson ended, and the other students,_ including our awful teacher_, walked out of the class.  
That was actually pretty fast, everyone was out like in about 5 seconds.  
Well, everyone except Dib and I.  
I first wanted to go along with him out of the class, but he seems to be lacking energy a bit, so i had to wait. And so we were the only one's in the silent class.

When Dib tried to leave his seat and manage his way to the door, I blocked his way.  
He was first surprised, and then _angry-bitter_ mixed looking again.

_'Out of my way, worm..._'he muttered under his breath.  
This scared me a bit, but i stayed in my place.  
'No, i demand you to tell me why you are like this!'  
'Why would you care.'  
'...Because i care.'  
_**'Psch!'**_  
He comes a bit closer, and i back as much.  
**'DONT UNDERESTIMATE THE FEELS OF ZIM'**  
'Feels?'  
I gulped.  
He comes closer again, and i back again.  
Theres a desk behind me.  
I didnt notice it, so i fell on it. I sit on the desk as i stare at the pale tall man.  
'Y-yes, feels.'  
'You do understand that by saying that, you say you like me?' he says with a small smile.  
**'NO! ZIM DOES NOT LIKE PITIFUL HUMAN BEINGS!'**  
He comes closer again, but theres no way for me to back on the desk if i dont wish to fall.

'Im not pitiful, im Dib.  
Oh oops. Maybe im bit too close.  
Dont want to make Rika jealous, now dont we.' He said with a smirk.  
**'Rika doesnt care about Zim!** And anyway, why do you care about what Zi-'

I cant finish my sentence because all of sudden he pounces to kiss me.  
He's keeping me in his tight hold.  
I cant struggle since he is a lot stronger than i am, but to be honest i dont even want to.  
Even though he looks so cold and dead at the moment, he is so warm...  
He ends the kiss as soon as he started it.

'Because i care.' He says with a small smirk.  
He tries to act cool, but i see the blush on his face.

He leaves me there, sitting on a desk, blushing like a stupid japanese schoolgirl.

... Wait. Dib kissed me!  
Oh no... No, no, no, no...  
This is not good at all!  
**What the FUCK** DIB?!  
The words Dib's sister told me couple days ago echo in my head:  
_'everything you do, affects Dib.~'_

No, no, no...

'_Everything that you..._

_Dib..._

_Everything..._

_do..._

_affects..._

_Dib...  
Dib...  
Dib...  
Dib...  
Dib. ''_

* * *

**SKKRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH HH!  
Guess who is hungry and so glad to finish this?  
THIS ONE!**

Ah, this one took so long cause there's much going to happen through this, but I couldn't decide what should happen next... D:  
And theres also that i dunno how quickly this should move.

But yea, the next one aint gonna take as much time as this one, cause i already know where to start. c:

THANKS FOR READING!

CHAPTER 6 COMING UP! ^^


	6. I hate you

**Hey! **

**This is getting really stupid at this point... ^^''**

**Contains:****-Language**

* * *

- **Normal POV -**

After the first kiss, the next week went really well for both.  
Things seemed to got really easy, and... Nothing hurted anymore.  
They got hope.  
Hope that future would be better than this very moment.

Time moved fast, while Zim and Dib started to spend more time together, until that one day when Zim asked Dib to visit his house.  
Dib agreed.  
When they arrived Zim's house, Zim immediately hurried kitchen to do who knows what.  
Dib looked around in the living room for a bit, and everything seemed normal, except that Gir was packing something.

'Heeeyyy, Gir~' Dib said with a smile and soft voice.  
'**AHHAAH**!' the robot screamed with laughter 'It's d' big head boy!'  
'*grumbling* It's not big... Why are you packing, lil' fella?'  
'Me and mastah will go for a _loooong _trip! We'll be away for a year!'  
'What? **WHY**?'  
'The tall ones told ma mastah that he will get an reward!  
Oops... it was supposed to be a secret... Shhhh now, kay?' The robot smiled.  
'Yeah... shh...' Dib said without an single emotion on his voice or face.  
He was shocked.

**- Dib's POV -**

Why didn't Zim tell me?  
Maybe... It was too difficult?  
If i'd have to leave my home, i'd be pretty silent at first too...  
I dont want to make this hard for him.  
I dont want to make him feel bad.

I sit on the couch, and wait until Zim arrives.  
Without his disguise on, the alien talks.  
'Dib, i got to..'  
'Yeah, dont bother. I dont really care.'  
'Huh?'  
'_Huh?_ God you sound so stupid. You're so disgusting and pathetic.'  
'What is wrong with you?!'Zim yells at me.  
'You. Everything in you is wrong with me. I cant stand seeing your ugly green face in my vision.  
_**I hate you**_.'  
'Get. Out. **Of my house**.** NOW.**' He said with fire in his eyes.

I ran out the door immediately, because i got that feeling if i'd stayed any longer, he would had beaten the crap out of me.  
I stopped running as i passed the gate of his front-yard.  
Why did i do that?  
I'm so foolish.  
All the lies i told to him...  
Everything i told to him...  
All lies...  
I'm so, so very sorry, Zim.

All of sudden i hear some noises.  
It's Zim. And... his spaceship.  
As the spaceship launches to the sky, i wave goodye, and head to my house.  
Spaceship leaved earth as fast as it had arrived.  
It's gone.  
All gone.  
My love.  
Hope.  
Future.  
All gone.  
What will i do now?  
My friend, only friend.  
Ran away to the space.  
I... i cant.

**- Normal POV -**

And after that, everything was cold again.  
Everything was difficult.  
At first it felt really hard for Dib to live without daily communications with Zim.  
Like something really important was missing.  
But no wonder he felt his way.  
He loved Zim.

Day by day, Week by week, month by month, Dib slowly got over it.  
Or at least he got his mind bit more off of Zim.

His grades went uphill and everything seems to go great, and his dad slowly starts to think he isn't that insane after all.  
Dib finally gained his trust.  
When he turned 17, his birthday present was an own apartment, but only if he would help his dad in the lab sometimes.  
He's in 2nd year of hiskool.  
Everything is going well... but he is still slightly depressed.

One late night [about 22 pm] Dib is coming home from store.  
Everything is dark, and he's driving (_Yes, driving_) a shopping cart.  
_... totally not stolen or anything._  
Okay, maybe a bit stolen.  
He can't see well in the dark, so he accidentally drives over something.  
He fells over with the shopping cart.  
**' GOD FUCKING DAMNIT, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU FUCKING ARE GETTING ON MY FUCKING WAY YOU FILTHY PIECE OF SHIT?!'** He yells at the stranger he drove over.  
When he gets no answer, he decides to check if the stranger is ok.

A small... man, i guess. Bald, really skinny, dressed in black... and bleeding.

* * *

**Ohhh, Dib you criminal... :D**

**Kay, this is a short one, but thats because i dont have too much time to do this today.**

**NEXT CHAPTER COMING UP!**


	7. Its no use

**Hey you!**

**Soooooo... About the Irken language...  
In my _'canon'_ it's sorta like patois of english.  
Just pointing that out.**

**Contains:  
- Language  
- Mild yaoi  
- ZaDr**

**Simply, if Zim and Dib romance disturbs you, get a red bull and fly away.  
Rewievs are appreciated, as always.**

**Enjoy! o w o**

* * *

- Dib's POV -

'Okay Dib, its my reason this man is bleeding...' I pondered.  
I picked the really skinny man, and putted him to my shopping cart and '_drove_' to my home.  
I couldn't see a fuck cause it was so dark outside, so i couldn't really see his face.  
I almost tripped couple of times when i carried him inside my house, _again_, cause it was so dark.

As i laid him down to my couch in the living room, i took new, close look at him: Green skin, bald head injured,dressed in black, really short and skinny... Is...  
_**ZIM?**_  
I was in shock.  
What the **fuck** are you doing in earth, Zim? I thought you left me...  
... Wait, it has been a bit over a year since he left me.  
...Oh.  
So, you're back eh?

As i stared at him, i remembered.  
He's injured!  
I went through almost all of my stacks to find any band-aids.  
Can't find any.  
**FUCK!**

... Oh wait, i got some first-aid stuff in my bathroom. I took a lot roll bandage, and hurried to the couch Zim was lying on, still unconscious. I sat next to him, and laid his head on my lap and wrapped the roll bandage over his head.  
I wonder if i should cover these antenna thingies too?  
I leave them, and continue wrapping the head.  
I accidentally brush really slightly those antennas and immediately my green-skinned guest winces as he wakes up.

He stares at me for a while, and lifts his head from my lap.

He sits next to me staring at me, eyes extremely wide.  
I've never seen him be this cute and surprised.  
He almost looks_ innocent_ with his oversized black clothes, and big shiny eyes.

'**AHH!** Sorry, i didn't mean to...'  
'D-Dib?' He lets out.  
I nod.  
**'Dib!**' He yells as he jumps to hug me.  
Im pretty surprised. Last time he saw me, i yelled at him and told him i hate every single thing in him, and at the moment he's in some weird new house and hugging me.  
'Dib... [Untellable: _is it really you?_]' He says.  
'What?'  
'[The exactly same words i heard, but not understandable.]'  
'Zim, i cant understand a thing you're saying.'

I can't understand a single word, or sound he's making.  
Is that... Irk?

'Are you speaking Irk?'  
'[Untellable short word: _yeah_]'

Kay, that sounded positive. He seems to understand me, even though i dont understand him.  
How is that so?  
Well, at least he knows my name, that's a start.

'[Untellable panic-like yelling:_ i missed you so much_]'  
'What?'  
'[More untellable yelling: _Please, you have to understand_]'

He yells at me with this hopeless sad look on his face.

What are you trying to say, my friend?

I sigh.

'Its no use, Zim. I can't understand you.'  
'[Calm untellable words: _Do you still hate me_?]'  
'No, stop..'

He leans against me and i wrap my arms around him.

'[Whispering untellable words: _I'm sorry i left you_.]'  
'Sshhh now...'

- Zim's POV -

'Stupid Dib...' I curse in my mind.  
'Why can't you understand me?  
Our languages aren't _that_ different.  
Maybe he hears things differently cause he has different cochlear?  
If I'm honest, i cant even remember the way the earth creatures communicate.  
I can't remember the words.  
I was _way_ too long away from earth.  
God damnit... **GOD FUCKING DAMNIT, I'M SCREWED!**  
**AND DIB DOESNT UNTERSTAND A SINGLE FUCKING IRKEN WORD!**  
**STUPID HUMAN! ARGGHHH!**'

I let out a sigh, as i calm down leaning against Dib.

And so we both stay on Dib's couch, Dib silently sitting and hugging, while i repose against him.

- Normal POV -

It's midnight, and both Zim and Dib are exhausted, Zim because of his injuries and Dib... Well, he's just tired.  
They both fell asleep basically hugging each other.  
Even though Zim is definitely more tired than Dib, he wakes up earlier.  
He only slept couple hours.

' What the fuck? First he says he hates me, and now i slept in the same couch with him. I just... ugh. I just can't figure him out.' Zim pounders.

He takes a look at Dib.  
His hair is a bit longer than year ago.  
It also looks like he got couple new piercings, 2 on both eyebrows, one on both cheeks, and one on ear.

I don't understand why he likes piercings so much.  
Is it some sort of tradition of human species to stab themselves with sharp objects?  
Is it some healthy form of life?  
Does it cause pleasure?  
I remember how Dib always bragged me about his piercings.  
He told me he had done them all by himself.  
All of them.  
He told me he wanted some day to be pierced everywhere as possible.  
I find it very odd, tho.  
If im correct, he doesn't have his bellybutton, tongue or genitalia pierced yet.  
At least a year ago he didn't.

Zim opens carefully the unconscious Dib's mouth a little to see if he had inserted any jewellery to his tongue.

Nothing there.

How about that bellypiercing?  
All of sudden Zim gets really shy.  
The tought of him tearing Dib's shirt off, it just simply gives him butterflies.  
'No, no... i couldnt...' he thinks.  
But soon the curiosity takes control, and so he lifts Dib's shirt lightly.  
Before he could see his bellybutton, Zim hears a familiar voice.  
The most not wanted voice at this kind of situation: Dib's.  
'What. The. **Fuck**. Are. You. Doing? Are you _**that**_ horny?  
... _seriously_?'  
'[Untellable yelling: _**NO! I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT,** I-]_'  
'I still can't understand you too much.'  
Zim gets some space between himself and Dib.  
He's blushing awfully much, meanwhile Dib is trying to figure out in his mind the chances if the alien really was going to abuse him.  
Dib lets out a huge yawn, and gets off the couch.  
He takes a look at the clock on the wall.  
'Mmh... It's 3:40 am...' he grumbles.  
After he said that, he heads to some room, apparently his bedroom.

And once again, Zim is left alone in a silent room awkwardly blushing.  
He lies down on the couch.  
'Fuck it, im gonna sleep here...' He curses in his mind.

* * *

**Hehee...**

**I'm really satisfied where this is going... ò w ó**

**CHAPTER 8 COMING UP!**


	8. Do we have a chance?

**Heeey! **

**This was a quick one, sorry about that. u n ù  
Plus, there's some misspelling in the text (like always).  
Sorry 'bout that too...**

**Still, do enjoy!**

* * *

In the early morning, about 7:00 AM, Dib wakes up to the new day.  
Unlike Zim, Dib slept really well.

Zim just kept pondering all night what the fuck was going on.  
Should he trust Dib? Could he?  
One things for sure: Dib could never like Zim.  
Well, that's something we already knew, since Dib already made it really clear to Zim about a year ago now. Its pretty sad, but kinda relief too, since invader aren't supposed to have romance or feel neither love or lust.  
It's unbelievable to think Zim almost fell into that kinda thing.  
It would have been a true shame to break the most important invader rule.  
If invaders would start to have feelings like that, they would soon start to get weaker since they care. And soon, they would be Worthless.  
Not good.  
valueless.  
Helpless.  
weak.

Zim is not actually sure what is _love._

_'Maybe Zim should find out? Since I'm back here to take over this pitifully small, disgusting planet, i should aswell know all its manners_.' He thinks

Zim is laying on the couch half-asleep,as tired as a small man could be, while Dib walks in the room.  
He takes a look at Zim, who all of sudden is pretending to sleep.

'Heh.. That's kinda cute... The great mighty Zim, sleeping on my couch like a child.' He says.  
'Shut up, human.' Zim grumbles

Dib is surprised to hear that Zim really knows english words.

'Oh, so you CAN talk to me?'  
'A bit.'  
'Well, nice. At least we don't have **that** much those awkward silences.. Whatcha want for breakfast?'  
'[Untellable: Cant you remember i don't eat your disgusting human food?]'  
'Okay, so that's where goes the line of your knowledge.'

Zim grumbles in frustration.  
Dib sits near the couch. To the ground, so Zim doesn't have to get up.  
Just so he can rest his injured head.

'So... Are you back for good now?'  
Zim nods.  
'Why were you gone?'  
'[Untellable: _Cause i was told that_] i would get a reward [_for being_] the greatest invader of [_all time_.] I was told [_that it was_] a year lasting trip.  
Trip to a HOBO 13-like training facility.  
[_Except that_] this one was [_more rough_.]  
Even though i do appreciate that my tallest sends me there, thinkin I'll survive.

Dib sighs. He does understand small words of Irk, and barely understood what Zim just said.

_'It's not a reward, it's a fuckin punishment.._' Dib curses in his mind.  
He's annoyed how Zim is being fooled.  
How he's living in lie.  
How he lives in unnecessary hope.  
How he thinks he's appreciated by his own kind.  
How he's getting laughed behind his back.  
How cruel those people are.  
Yet still Dib doesn't have the courage to break small, cute, yet so naïve, alien's illusion of his precious,yet gruesome leaders.

_'He's been quiet for a while... i guess he didn't understand what i said_.' Zim goes through in his mind.

**'Oh, by the way!** You're still in our class. Even tho you were away for a year, no one barely noticed it. It already was so general to you ditch school, no one cared.'  
Zim had amused look on his face which was same time happy, surprised and rather very pleased.

'Zim, if i may ask, why can't you speak english?'  
'[_I know_] how to speak it, [_i just_] don't rememb- [_i mean, it's just you_] and your stupid bullshit cochlear [_that hears it all wrong_.]'

Dib only understood few words. Couple Irken and couple english, and by those words he deduced what Zim meant.  
He wonders how the hell does Irken language work.

'So... are you going to come back to school?'

Zim got that disgusted look on his face, but then he nods against his will.

Dib is very gratified. He got his friend back.  
He doesn't have to be alone in school anymore.  
He doesn't have to feel so outcast.  
He won't be laughed at anymore.  
... Okay, maybe a bit laughed at, but still.

Dib looks Zim from head to his toes.

He's wearing threadbare black clothes, both slightly broken, probably cause the shopping cart crash, and no disguise.

'Do you have any disguise with you, spaceboy?'  
Zim nods, and shoos Dib away from him, so he could put on his disguise in peace.

Dib turns around and heads back to his bedroom, to his closet.  
He picks his regular clothes to himself: Jacket, blue shirt, and jeans.  
For Zim though, he has to think hard the small man would like.  
Dib picks dark red shirt, that has a white heart icon on its chest, and jeans.

Dib comes back to living room and throws the red t-shirt and jeans to Zim, who already had put the fake eyes and wig on.

'For me?' Zim wonders, and gives that wide-eyed curious look.  
'Yeah, put them on.  
You can't go out in public while wearing dirty, broken clothes.'

Zim whines and complains a bit at first, but then Dib got him convinced to try those clothes on.  
They were slightly too big.

Zim seemed to feel uncomfortable in Dib's old clothes that are these days too small for him, but in Dib's opinion he looked cute!

'That's just so adorable. And maybe a bit.. _sexy_. The way that shirt covers his skinny arms. It's so big, it could be ripped of so easily and... **AGH! What am i thinking!? WE. ARE. FRIENDS.**  
**PERIOD.**'

Dib clears his throat, and says  
'C'mon, let's go before we're in a hurry.'  
'Kay.'  
Dib grabs Zim's hand and holds it while he opens the door.  
When he steps out side, he sees something familiar.  
'Gir?'  
'Gir[_here you are_]'  
'Mastah! I waited here **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL LLL **night!'  
'Yes Gir. Now, do you have [_the knife_?]'  
**'YEA I HAVE ****TH**-'  
**'Sssshhh!'** Zim hissed.

Dib is listening the short conversation curiously.  
The couple of words Zim said were unknown to Dib.

'Gir, you stay in the humans house [_while Zim_] goes [_to_ skool]'  
**'YES, MASTER!'** Gir says with red eyes as he marches into Dib's house, right under his legs.

Dib closes the door, while still holding Zim's hand.  
They leave Dib's house as Dib leads him to the road he these days takes to go to skool.

In while, he notices that Zim is staring everywhere curiously.  
_'I guess he havent ever been in this part of the town, the part where i live these days.'_ Dib thinks.

'Whatcha thinkin?' Dib laughs.

Zim shrugs and says '  
It feels odd to be here again.' with a smile.  
' Yeah i get that. you were away quite a while. its weird to have you back here from your... _reward trip_.'  
Zim laughs a bit, and gets silent.

_'Hey, i just noticed. Dib talks more swell english than yesterday.  
Back then he only spoke Irk.  
Could it be... he has forgotten how to talk english, and is now starting to remember?  
Probably not._

_It looks like he really think the so-called tallests sent him on a reward trip._  
_Fuckin bullshit._  
_Zim, why are you so naive..._' Dib goes through in his head as they walked to the skool.

Soon Dib realizes something.

'_...Wait. Zim and I are going to skool._  
_While holding hands!_'

Right now Dib has terrible difficulties to hold his urge to jump or scream, just to express his excitement and happiness.

_'Does this mean... _  
_.. Do we.._  
_.. Do we have a chance?_'

* * *

**Ohmigosh i just noticed:  
I got this whole story plot practically completely written in my head, and i just noticed that this isn't even in half done yet. O_O  
Which means, this is gonna be at least twice as long after this chapter.  
And that means this is gonna be at least 16 chapters long! **

**... Im gonna die during all that writing... w **

**Chapter 9 COMING UP!**


	9. Why do i care

**Hey! ^^**

**Gah, I'm so glad i finally got this done.**  
***Sigh* Yes, i did change the name.**  
**From now on, this wont be known as 'What do you want'.**  
**Instead of that, i give you 'Kisses and chaos.'**

**Because fuck you, thats why. **  
**Nah, no no no.. : D It's cause i got pointed at as a copycat, since there already is a story called 'What do you want.'**

**I hate being called a copycat, so i just instantly changed the name. :l **  
**I hope you guys dont mind.**  
**... Ah, of course you dont. Cause you're awesome. w **

**Do enjoy! owo**

* * *

It's warm November morning.

Zim and I are walking to the skool hand in hand.

When we arrive skool, many of our fellow students take a long look at us.  
I'm not sure if it is because of people being surprised to see Zim in skool, or because we are holding hands.

Whatever the reason was, we didn't care.  
.. Okay, i dont know about Zim, but at least i decided not to care.

We went inside, and headed to our class.

Huh, the door is not open yet.  
Zim pokes me, and points the clock our skool has on it's wall.  
'Oh, we're a bit early.' I say  
'Zim thought you said we have to hurry?'  
'I guess i looked the time wrong, hehe..'  
'_Stupid human.._' Zim mumbles with a small smile and shrugs

Zim sit on the ground, next to our class. Waiting for our teacher to arrive.  
Since he's a lot smaller than me and he hold my hand extremely tightly, i was almost like forced to sit too.

There we just sat. Leaning to the crappy cold wall.  
People went past us, whispering to each other.  
I have no clue what they were whispering, but i'm pretty sure it was nothing positive.  
Earlier i didn't care, but now I was a bit disturbed by all the looks, but when i took a look at Zim, i saw he didn't give a fuck.  
He just sat there next to me calmly holding my hand. He just didn't give a shit.  
Well, not at least until the small girl group came near us.

It was some group, formed of 6-7 girls, stick together.  
I knew none of these girls by name, except that one with long black hair._ Rika._  
Ughh, not that cunt again.

I noticed that she was staring something near me.

She was staring at Zim.

It wasn't a regular look.  
It was long, flirty look.  
She smiled at Zim.  
She flipped her hair a bit.  
She waved at him.

'_That filthy bitch, is he really trying to sed- **what**?_' i thought as i took a new look at Zim.

He looked really huffy, as he flipped the bird at Rika.  
This is the point when i was really close to burst in laughter.  
It was because of Rika's expression after the _great mighty bird_ was shown.

This is... amazing.

I remember the day when Zim tried to tell me how there was no fuzz between him and Rika.  
I didn't believe him.  
I didn't believe him at first, and i never did.  
I just pretended to believe him later, so he wouldn't be so mad at me anymore.

But now i realize that he really told the truth.

How am i so foolish!?  
Why didn't i trust him?  
How was i so blind?  
Why didn't i care about the truth?  
Why did i only believe my own lies?

After a while Rika and Zim had stared at each other, Rika took couple steps toward us.  
_'No, please. Anything but that.' i begged in my mind  
_  
I know Zim well enough to see, that he's now in the mood for a fight.  
Even the smallest irritant could now be the thing that would make him explode from rage.

**Oh my god!** Talk about timing, our teacher!  
**Finally**!  
Rika stops walking towards us right in that moment when she saw our teacher.

I get up, and so does my small friend.  
I lead him into our class. Hand in hand.

We still sit near to each other, just like last year.  
Zim in the first desk of the row, and i right behind him.

At this point, this was getting _weird._

At first when we were holding hands, it was pretty cute and nice.

Now, we have been hand in hand for like _45 minutes._

I bet this looks _reeeeaaaallllly_ stupid: Zim sits infornt of me, and i sit behind him, and still were holding hands.

Some students call us with names, and even our teacher points out that we look like love birds.

I pulled Zim's hand.

_'Let go already._' i whisper  
'_No way._' He replies.  
'**_WHY'_** i whisper with more weight on my voice  
'_...ok_.' He changes his mind

He let's go of my hand, and it feels really cool and free.

It feels so empty and lonely all of sudden.

Our teacher starts to explain something about some ball we have the next week.  
The ball is couple days before the end of this semester.

Then there's one more year of this skool left, the third.  
Then comes ,_finally _, the graduation.

I find it pretty funny, and the same time weird that our semester end in the middle of November.  
Usually it hasn't been that early.  
But i don't mind too much, at least our vacation is longer then.

'Even though our school doesn't give a crap about how you students feel, the prom some of you asked from our principal will be arranged. ' She mutters

'The prom is free to all students, if they have a date.  
This is how our principle thinks we motivate...' she continues

**_Bluh bluh bluh bluh_**.  
Who seriously is going there?  
Who is dressing in to their best to go to school to listen music and dance?  
**Why the hell**?  
You can listen music in your home, and dance when ever the fuck you want.

'Now, just out of curiosity, how many of you hopeless excuses for citizens planning to go there?'

The whole class lifts their arm.

So does Zim.

'Dib, why aren't you going?'  
I say nothing.  
'Is it that you get no one to go with?'  
I remain silent.  
'By saying nothing you say its true.'

I stand up from my desk.

'**NO. I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY ALL THE PEOPLE AROUND ME ARE SO SHALLOW.**  
**WHY ARE YOU TELLING STUDENTS TO GET A DATE JUST SO THEY CAN LISTEN MUSIC AND DANCE FOR FREE?!  
YOU CAN DO THOSE THINGS WHENEVER YOU WANT.**  
**YOU ALL ARE SO STUPID**.'

There is a small silence.  
Then couple students yell  
'_Why do you complain about getting a date?'_  
_'Yeah, Go with your boyfriend.'_

You don't have to be genius to know who they meant.  
I take a look at Zim.  
He doesn't seem to get it, then he looks at me.  
I got this bad feeling.  
He got some mixed sadness, hopelessness, confusion and curiosity.

I sit down.  
I can feel my face getting warm.  
'_Oh! Now he's blushing!_'

No... I'm not usually like this.  
I'm not usually this weak.  
But i cant stand it anymore..  
In couple seconds i manage to jump up from my seat, and run out of the class, and slam the door as hard as i can.

There was a small window on the door.  
_**Was**_.  
Now you can't call it a window anymore.  
It has so many cracks, you can't see through it.

I run to the bathroom, because that's the only place i can go right now.  
I just want to go somewhere no one ever does.  
I just want to be alone.

I'm in the filthy, dark bathroom.  
It's not too small, but not too huge either.  
There's few sinks, and just as many toilet cubicles.

I walk to one of those sinks, the only clean one.  
I lean on it, and close my eyes

When you try not to cry, you cry a lot.  
Why is it **always** like that?  
Well, who cares.  
I just want these tears to end.

After i had cried a while, i ended up sitting on the floor legs spreaded.

Why am I crying?  
I thought i had already got used to be laughed and mocked.  
They only talked me and Zim as a couple, that's all.  
Why do i react to that so strongly?  
Why do i give a fuck?

Door opens.

'**WHAT THE FUCK**!?' I yell  
God damn, that startled me..

I'm not gonna lift my sight up from the floor, I'm way too ashamed for being so weak to cry.  
All i see, is that the person that entered this room just walked in front of me and steps between my spreaded legs so i can only see his shoes.  
They are white. Slightly threadbare, but white.  
_'Yeah, i could ask you the same thing.'_  
No, not you...  
This voice.  
It sounds way too familiar.  
Not you, not now...

* * *

**Heheheeee~  
****I'm really satisfied!**

As i post this, I'm already typing the other chapter, all thanks to the easter vacation. ^^

CHAPTER 10 COMI- Wait, chapter 10?  
o_o Holy shit!  
Already chapter 10?!  
But... but i just started writing this couple weeks ago... oAo  
IMPOSSIBRU! WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?!

But yeah  
CHAPTER 10 COMING UP!


	10. Services for the naive

**Hey! ^^**

**Kay, for the starters, I'm REALLY REALLY RLY RLY RLY RLY sorry i havent been writing this too much lately.  
It's just that it's almost end of the semester in my school, and there's so many schools i need to sign in and some of them have entrance exams.**

I did those exams for like 3 visual art-based schools i had offered myself to, and i passed but all of these schools are so far away from my town and i would miss my friends so very, very much , i decided not to go. *cough* _Aaaaand I'm not quite old enough to go to work cause i have born so late of the year, which means i couldn't get any money for my own house._ *cough*

So now I'm gonna redo this grade. :l fuck... 

**And yeah, the second reason for not writing was that i have two computers in my home at the moment: Laptop that has really bad internet connection [so i can only type with it] and regular cpu.  
**  
**I always type only with the laptop, and... well, my stepfather is pretty much a huge dick when he's drunk. **  
**One night he got pretty drunk, and took my laptop away. **  
**It didn't actually bother me that much, until i realized that all my fanfics that i had written were on that laptop. **  
**Including the upcoming 2 chapters that i wrote one day cause i felt really happy and full of life & energy.  
**  
**But thank god, i had saved this chapter in to my - account. ^^**

**So... yeah.  
Here you go, chapter 10 :3**

**Enjoy... or don't. I don't mind.**

Contains:  
-Language  
-Mild violence  
-GAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYY

* * *

The person with sharp, familiar voice squats down, and looks me into the eyes.

'The **FUCK** is wrong with you?'  
I try to answer, but it's pretty difficult if you take a note how we are in dark bathroom.  
Alone.  
Just two of us.  
Sitting on the ground my legs spread.  
Zim squatted between them.  
Really close to me.  
Staring at me.  
I can feel his warm breath.

I open my mouth, just trying if i can get out an answer or something.

'...Guh.'  
Zim gives me this half-eyed gaze of frustration.  
'Stupid human can't [_even talk properly_.]'  
'Neither can you.'  
'Sorry.'  
'Dont worry about it, i got it.'  
'You got it?'  
'... Why are you so close to me right now, again?'  
'So i can talk to you.'  
'But why this close?'  
'So i can talk to you.'  
'*_Sigh_* Yeah, i heard you.'  
'Why did you run away like that [_from our class? Why did they say_] that you have [_a boyfriend?]_'  
'How naive can you be...' I mumble  
**'I DEMAND YOU TO TELL ZIM, NOW**.'  
'I'll answer to both of your questions with one short sentence: You we're the boyfriend.'  
'Huh?'  
'It's because **you** didn't let go of my hand, everyone thinks were a fucking couple.'  
**'DONT BLAME THIS ON ZIM, ZIM DID NOTHING WRONG'**  
'How could i not? You didn't let go! Why are you like this!? Why are you being so close to me!?'

I'm not sure if it was the slippery bathroom ground, or the way i yelled at him, but for a moment he looked startled and started to lose his balance.  
He falls over me, and our heads bump a bit.

Zim freezes right in front of me, staring at me.  
Like in a shock.  
I guess he was surprised to fall over me.  
.. Well so was i but, it wasn't a shock.  
'Z-Zim, you look... Man, are you okay?'

He nods.  
He shivers and fells over me again, but this time it wasn't an accident.  
He hugged me.  
'Please.. Don't yell at Zim.. It's very [_unpleasant_]'  
I understood this, yet still i notified  
'Zim, try to talk english, kay?'  
'Im trying all the time!'

He releases me from his hug, and gets up.  
There's something on his lip.  
He heads to the door, and through that to the hallway.  
I ran after him.  
He had just made his way to the hallway, and he was walking in the middle of people.  
I run after him.  
I grab his hand.  
'Zim, wait!'  
He turns around.  
'Huh?'  
That's all he can say, before our lips meet.  
Everyone in the hallway stare at us, and let out a huge gasp.

I end the kiss, even though it felt like it lasted forever.  
'Y-you... You had something on your lip..' I mumble  
Zim keeps his mouth shut.

That thing on his lip.. It tasted like.. blood.  
Ah, i guess when our heads crashed, he hitted his lip on my forehead or something..

There's weird glare in his eyes.  
As i look around me, i notice that so does everyone else.  
Everybody is staring at as.  
Like there would be something wrong with being gay.

**'EWWWWW GAY COUPLE**!' someone yells out.  
And in that second everyone bursts out in a mocking laughter.

Ow, i thought that this would go well but noooooo...  
Theres always someone inciting other people to laugh at different ones.

I turn around and head to the front doors.

Soon Zim runs after me.  
I only manage to grab the doorknob when he shouts

'Where the hell does Dib [_think_] he's going?!'  
'Imma ditch the rest of the day.'  
'**HMPH**.'  
'Umm... You know it wasnt really nothing..'  
'What was?'  
'That kiss. You had something on your lip. It was just helping a bud out.'  
He stares at me.  
I can't figure out how he's feeling.

He looks so confused, offended and somehow... what, is that disappointment i see in his eyes?

I escape from the school.

I rarely call ditching escaping.  
But right now, it is escaping.

_'It was just helping a bud out.'_

Well, i wasnt lying!  
I helped him, right?  
Friend help each other, right?

-Zim's POV-

Dib left me alone in here to listen people mocking me.

As hours pass and lessons change, i repeat on my head what just happened.

_'It wasnt nothing. Just helping a bud out.' _  
Well, you could have told me i had something on my lip.

It was so stupid...  
... But so nice.  
It felt really tingly in my guts.

**'NO!'** I scream in my mind as i shake my head.  
'Zim will not fall for some stupid human... again.  
He hurted me once. Why not twice?  
And true invaders have no time for such thing as romance.  
But... still.  
It felt so right.  
How can something that feels so right, be wrong?'

As the last lesson ends, i leave our school and try to manage my way to Dib's house by going the same way as we went to school in the morning.  
_'Hmm... First i go straight, then left, then straight and left again, and then turn to this corner... this corner here.'_ I mumble to myself when i reach the familiar corner, i saw earlier.  
It doesn't feel too safe to walk in some darkish passage.  
Especially alone.

Wait... are those footsteps... behind me?

**'WHO DARES TO FOLLOW ZIM?!'** I yell as i turn around.

A tall, fellow male student that i dont know.

'Hey, aren't you that gay kid?'

I dont like using the human term _'ge-yh'_ because it sounds dirty, but i nod.

'Why are you gay?' he asked.

I have no answer to that.  
I think for a while and

'Why not?'

'Because its bad. Its sin. God doesn't want people to be gay.  
It's not normal.  
Its _inhuman._'

I'm not too familiar with this thing called '_Gawd_' that some people tend to admire.  
But... isn't being gay normal?  
I need to be normal!  
**I have to**!

'What can i do to get the gay out of me? Please, you must help me!' I beg, embarrassed.

I cant believe im actually asking help from some filthy human.

'Well...' He laughs a bit.  
'- I heard that punching and kicking gay people will make them straight. I heard that it will traumatize them so, they become straight.'

I have no idea if this is true or what, but if he's offering his help, in this situation i will accept it.

I open my mouth to say my acceptance to him, but i didn't quite make it.  
He had already grabbed my(_okay, Dib's_) shirt and thrown me to the ground.

**'Wait, what is-**' I yell  
'Shut up.' The student says.

All those screams.  
All those punches.  
All those kicks.  
All those rude words.  
All those bruises.  
All those noises.  
All this pain.

It sure does take a while for him to complete his painful business with me.

He leaves me on the ground, near his feet, laying on my chest.

'Heh, we'll see if you are gay tomorrow.  
If so, i have to _help_ you again.' He laughs

I cough a bit, but i manage to say

'Thank you human, [_for your_] services.  
They are _gr_***cough***-greately appreciated.'

He laughs and leaves me.

It take my time to handle the pounding pain that lives in every spot he touched.  
As the most of the pain calms down, i stand up, and continue my way to Dib's house.

* * *

**AAAARRRGGGGHHHh! I FEEL SO BAD FOR WRITING THIS... ;-; im sorry Zimmm..  
Forgive me..  
**

**feakjefhfhnfanfacnlufawcnuohnhurvnhuiseunisrveuksv rkbgvrsgekbsgkbsvrgkbsvkbgsvrkgbsvr  
Seriously  
Fuck this  
Imma go sleep now :c  
Its 02:41 Am, school day and im typing a shittiest shitty fanfic full of shit, shittiest shit in the history of shittiest shitty fanfics by shitty writer.  
Thats a lot of shit, tho. :D  
**

**But yeah, chapter 11 coming soon! owo**


	11. Call me anytime

**Hey again!**

**I've been missing my computer so much, and here i am again! ovo yayyyyy!**

**I'm so sor... You know what? I'm not even sorry for taking my time on writing. :D**

** It's been quite messy in my life at the moment, in such things as love.**

**I thought i loved that one man i met 8 months ago.**  
**I thought _he_ loved me.**  
**But _he_ wanted to break up, because _he_ was moving in to another town.**

**Now, if you ask me, i think it's completely good reason to break up...**  
**.. well, at least i did think so, until i spoke about it with my very dear friend, let's call her 1.**  
**1 told me that we could have a long distance-relation ship.**  
**I could visit him, and _he_ would anyway visit me, since his mom lives in my town.**  
**_He_ didn't like the idea.**  
**Then came one other friend, 2, who suggested an open relationship.**  
**I'm not sure if thats it in english, but in finnish it's the kind of relationship that you're with someone, but you're still free to be with others too.  
_He_ seemed to like the idea, but i didn't.**  
**And neither did 1.**  
**1 told me that if _he_ likes the idea of being with me, but also with someone else, _he_ doesn't really love me.**  
**I came to realize that it actually made sense, and i gave up.**

**Now I'm over him, and I'm just fine.**

**I look head up to the future and possible new love, who really would love me.**  
**But the most important, i look head up to the future, where i am happy.**  
**  
And i'm happy, as long as i have my friends.**

**I love you guys.**

* * *

I arrive Dib's house, at last.

I open the door with leaving a crimson red bloodstain on it.  
I close the door silently, and take a look around.

I stand silently.  
No one's here.  
I cant hear any voices.  
I cant see anyone.  
... Well, i couldn't see if there was someone anyway, since it's so damn dark.

I seek a while for something i could deinfect my wounds.

I have to look for a while, til i manage my way to the bathroom.

Over the sink theres a small cabinet.

And then, i see someone. Who looks like.. a monster or something.  
I got startled quite badly.  
Then i take a closer look.  
I'm the monster.  
The cabinet has windows on it's doors.

_'Dear irk, i look awful..._'  
Bruises, wounds, and blood.  
Covering my face.  
I'm missing eyecontact from my left eye.

I look terrible, slightly pale.

I open the mirror-doored cabinet.

I seek for some first-aid, but all i do is accidentally pull every little jar and item down, making an awful voice.

I stay still for a moment, holding my breath.

Then i release my breath out as a huge sigh.

'Um... what are you doing?'  
I jump in air and turn around quickly as possible.  
'**WHAT THE E**- Oh, hi Diblet.'  
'What the hell?'  
'I- umm.. I was just lookin around and-'  
i cant finish my sentence when Dib yells '**WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE, MAN?! WHY ARE YOU ALL BEATEN UP?!**'

Suddenly i get this bad feeling.  
I should not.  
I was just trying to fit in.  
Being like everyone else is good.  
Good things wont make you feel bad.

'I tripped couple times on my way here.'

He looks at me for a moment, in rather very analyzing way.  
'... ok.'  
He takes some bandage from the sink, where all those items i dropped went.  
He wraps it around my both wrists, and it feels kind of good.  
It feels cool.

' Thank you. '

**THE KOMBUHCA MUSHROOM PEOPLE SITTING AROUND ALL DAY!-**

Something almost scared the crap out of me.  
Yelling with some music behind it.

It was Dib's phone.  
'OOP, looks like i gotta be going by now.'  
'Where?'  
'To work.  
I'm living alone now.  
I gotta make my own money.'  
'Oh... have fun.'  
'Uhm, thanks. Do you have a phone?'  
I shake my head.  
From the kitchen shelf he fetches an very old communication device.  
'This is my old trusty phone, you can have it. It already has my number in it, just for these kind of cases.'  
He hands me the gray, primitive, slightly broken, made in china piece of plastic, that has a small screen and buttons with numbers on them.

'You can sleep anywhere you want to. Oh, and also, if you ever need me, feel free to give me a call.  
Hungry? Call me, i'll bring food.  
In trouble? Call me, i'll help.  
You can always call me.'

He turns around, and with huge steps he leaves the house.  
He leaves me standing there with that piece of shit on my hand.

'What was that?'  
I feel like there would be something in me.  
What's the thing that humans call... _But-her-fliehs,_ i guess?

I... i thought i already got over him.  
He'll just hurt me again.

_Siiiiigh._

I go to the dark room where is one single bed.

So messy. The sheets are all wrinkled, the pillow is flat,  
and the blanket, not on it's place.  
All wrinkled.

I get in to the bed.  
It's so warm.  
So soft.  
Just like every single hug Dib gives me.  
Makes me feel I'm not alone.

Little by little, by conciousness starts fading away.  
Slowly, so slowly...  
First goes my ability to feel my hands and legs.  
I only feel how heavy they are, just like the rest of my body.  
Then i lose the ability to hear.  
Every silent sound that anything earlier made,  
cars driving past outside, Gir's small snoring, anything,  
starts getting small, quiet, useless, and in the end, they disappear completely.

I fall asleep.

* * *

**PART 12 COMING UP!**


	12. The bad taste

**Hey there again!**

**FUCK YEAH! I got my springbreak! ;v;**  
**I'm so happyyyyy...**

**.. oh yeah, btw **  
**I've been planning to start working on a new fanfics 'series'. **  
**Now, i need some help. **  
**There's 90% chance it will be Invader Zim based. **  
**If it is IV based, it will be 60% chance it will be ZADR.**

**But those are only chances.  
**  
**I have a question:**

* * *

**What series should i pick? I'm sorry to set limits, but the only candidates are **

* * *

**Homestuck**  
**Adventure Time**  
**Invader Zim**  
**Pewdiepie ( _this would automatically be pewdsXcry- thingy._ )**  
**Gorillaz**

* * *

**When i see what category has the most of the votes, i see what ship it would be?**

* * *

**HS: GamzeexVriska  
or Karkat  
or Tavros  
****o****r Terezi ( Sorry guys, i really like Gamz... OwO hehe )****  
**

**AT: Okay, i dont really have any limits for this. Suggest freely!  
****  
IZ: ZimxDib  
DibxGaz  
ZimxGaz  
ZimxTak  
****  
Gorillaz: 2DxNoodle  
or Murdoc  
**

* * *

**I have actually no idea how much nudity i should put in the text. Let me know maybe? **

* * *

**1= No nudity please. Just kissykissy loveydovey gooeygoo- loveshit. **  
**No swears either, please. I like cute daydream stories.**

**2= No nudity, but there can be kissing and mild swearing**

**3= As long as it's not completely porn, its okay to me. **  
**There can be pretty much kissing, and swearing. **

**4= I'd like if it would be quite dirty. **  
**No sex tho. Just dirty. There a difference. **

**5= Kissing, swearing, sex. All fine to me.**

* * *

**This looks more complicated than it is. **  
**All you have to do is  
1. Pick a series**  
**2. Choose the ship. **  
**3. Let me know it somehow. **  
**  
There are many ways, but private messaging would be the best way i would notice it. **  
**( Also comments would work out )**

**Example: Homestuck, GamzeexTavros, 1 of 5.**

**That would be the perfect vote. :)  
**  
**I would be grateful to know at least the series, but the ship also makes me really happy. **  
**I want to know what you guys like to read. :3 **  
**  
Just note, that the stories most likely may contain some emo references. **  
**Most likely. **  
**If it bothers you, tell me while you can. **  
**The story is still in progress.**

**THANKS FOR VOTING**

**Warnings:**  
**-Really mild yaoi**  
**-Zadr**  
**-mild swearing**

**ENJOY**

* * *

**-Dib's POV-**

It's 5 AM.

I'm walking down a street to my house.  
Everything looks so beautiful when it's slightly dark even though sun is rising.  
I'm really tired.  
I've been lately working in a fastfood restaurant to pay my penalties.  
It's not too fancy, but i get money from it.  
So, good enough for me.

_I wonder what Zim has been doing while i've been gone._

I arrive my home, and as quiet as possible i open the door.

It's quite scary.  
I left Zim alone.  
It's terribly silent.  
.. _has something bad happened?_

I search every room.

Living room: I spot Gir, sleeping in the same spot as earlier, just different position.

Kitchen: No sign of anyone.

Bathroom: No signs.

Closet: ._.Why am I even searching from here?_

**Where the fuck is he?!**

Im starting to get hopeless, but then i go to my own bed room.  
There he is.

Sleeping in my own sheets.

When i told him he can choose where to sleep by himself, i thought he would sleep on the couch with his minion.

He actually looks quite adorable.  
This is propably one of those once in lifetime- moments when i see him calm.  
Vulnerable.  
Harmless.  
Peaceful.

I bet he's having sweet dream.  
I can tell it by his expression.  
It's calm, yet happy.  
I can see a small smile over there.

For a moment i felt like i need someone to talk to, since it's so damn silent in here at the moment, but no.  
I cant take away his only happy moments.

I might just aswell go make some coffee.  
I wonder if he has ever tasted it before.

**-Zim's POV-**

From the land of no pain.  
From the fuzzy world.  
From the sweet tasting wonderland.  
From the hazy fields of my mind.  
I wake.  
I smell something... ugh, so disgusting.  
It just wakes me up.

I get out of bed to find out what is the source of this horrible smell.

I open the door, and take a look in the kitchen.  
A man, sitting in front of the table.  
Drinking something.

Its Dib.

'What [_are you drinking_?]'

He looks at me.

'Speak properly, man. I'm drinking coffee. Wanna taste?' he says with a smile.

I nod, and he gives me the white mug he had in his hands.

I take a look at the liquid.

Steaming.  
Disgusting smell.  
Black.  
... poison?

**'HOW ON IRK CAN YOU [_DRINK THIS_?] POISON!**' i yell.

'Haha, you haven't even tasted it yet.  
And c'mon, if i can drink it, it cant be poison.' He laughs.

I refuse to drink it.  
He leaves the table, and stands infront of me.

I hold the mug tightly.  
He comes close to me, and puts his hands over mine, around the mug.

'Zim.. One sip wont hurt, right?  
Just one.  
I promise, it's not poison.'I says under his breath.

'Mmmmmmhh...' i mumble.

He lets go of the mug, and my hands start to shiver as i take a sip of the dead black steaming liquid.

**'EEOUAAGH! THIS TAST-**' i yell until Dib kisses me.

Am i still dreaming?  
I... this can't be true.  
This kiss is so long... it has to be dream.

The bitter coffee taste fades away.

Dib ends the kiss and smiles.

'Does it still taste bad?'

I shake my head.

'Awwwwh, thats so cute.  
Your cheeks are dark green now...' he laughs.

**'S-SHUT UP DIB-STINK!'**

He returns his seat.  
I sit on the table in front of him.

'So, you were out to work, eh?'  
'_mmhmh_.' He mumbles while sipping coffee  
'What kind of _[work?]'_  
'Boring work.'  
'If it is [_so boring, why do you work?_]'  
'Because i have to.'  
'Why?'  
'Cause i get money from it.'  
'Why do you need money?'

He's quiet for a moment.

'To use it.' he finally replies  
'To what?'

Now he remains silent.

'What kind of dream did you see?' he changes subject

And so, we keep talking and talking 'til its time for us to go to that hellhole called hiskool.

* * *

**Wow gageki... Way to make the quiz almost longer than the story. **  
**Haha : D**

**Thanks for reading, i really appreciate it.**

**Part. 13 coming up! **

_I have a feeling that this fanfic wont last too long... maybe 2 more parts. _  
_o noes D:_


	13. I love you, Dib Membrane

**Hey, how ya doin? o w o**

**I'm terribly sorry, but this story ends here!**

**I was planning that there would be more, i had so many great ideas for this, but **  
**if i was gonna use them, i should have used them in the beginning. **  
**No worries, lovelies!**  
**There will be more Zadr soon.**

**Big THANK YOU to everyone who answered the 'quiz'! **  
**It really helps me out. **

**Pewdiepie, Vriska/Gamzee/Tavros, and Zim x Dib were really popular answers.**

**I'm first gonna do Vriska x Gamzee fanfic.**

**Then comes Zadr.**

**Pewdiepie.. Well, i got whole summer time. n w n Hehe~**

**But yeah, thank you for reading! o v o**

**Enjoy this last part.~**

* * *

This day in this prison.._ i mean_ school, is like any other that will come.

Zim wakes from Dib's apartment, they go to school, Dib ditches _always_ the last lesson and goes home to sleep, Zim gets beaten up by the bully on the way home, Zim comes home, Dib always wonders what Zim has been doing, Dib goes to work, and the morning comes...

And the next day is completely the same.

_Days.._  
_Weeks..._  
_Even months..._  
This shit goes on.

Slowly Zim starts to get fed up in this treatment.  
The treatment the bully serves to him.

_''Im gonna treat you like this, cause i want to help you.''_

_''This will make you straight.''_

Slowly Dib has been suspecting something weird going on.  
Unlike usual, today Zim goes home before Dib.  
He tells Zim that he have to stay in detention.  
What a lie.

He keeps sneaking from safe distance behind Zim, so he would see...

... Those brutal things.

The bully throws Zim on the wall of the building that they usually meet behind.

He punches Zim.  
So many times.  
Kicks.  
Yells.  
Laughs.

And Dib just stands there, behind a corner, staring.

_'Why doesn't Zim do anything?!' he thinks_

Because he wants this.  
He lets the bully do this from his own will.

**'ARE YOU STILL GAY?!'** The bully yells.

The green man lets out a small_ cough._  
**  
'DO YOU STILL LIKE BOYS?! HUH?!'** He yells again

_Silence._

**'YOU'RE DISGUSTING!'** He spits as he leaves.

Or at least he tries to leave, but Dib blocks his way.

**'WHAT THE FUCK MAN?!  
WHY THE HELL ARE YOU BEATING MY BEST BRO?!'**  
Dib grabs the bully's hoodie.

_-Lol moar silence-_

The bully laughs.

'Hehe, cause he wants to.  
That little shit is gay, you know?  
If i were you, i'd stay away from him.  
Homosexuality is contagious.'  
He says as he laughs the best laughs of his life.

The anger boiles in Dib's like chili.  
He has this furious look on his face, as he punches the bully in the gut.  
He falls down facing the sky, and Dib steps on his ribs.

**'YOU.. YOU PIECE OF SHIT!**  
** YOU DONT FUCK WITH ZIM!'**

Earlier the bully was only humoured about Dib's anger,  
but now that he's laying on the ground,  
Dib's combat boot on his ribs pressing him down,  
the amusement has turned terribly fast  
in to  
_fear._

Zim looks with dizzy eyes at Dib.  
He's barely concious.

'Dib.. Don't. This hyuuman just wants to help.'

It's so sad in Dib's opinion, that Zim is** THIS** naiive.

'Zim.. Define help.  
Does it feel good when this... **MOTHERFUCKER** hits you?  
What does it change?  
You were just his_ toy_.'

Zim stares at Dib with watery eyes.  
Is it true?  
After a while he realizes that it is.

'**AAAAAGHH**! How... could i...' he sobs, as covers his face with his hands.

Zim lifts his shoe off from the bully's ribs..

... and stomps the bully's face with it.

Not enough hard to make any visible injury, but enough to hurt and keep him down.

'Now... listen carefully_ motherfucker_...' he says under his breath calmly

He lifts his shoe from the bully's face.

'**YOU..!**' he says as he kicks him on the stomach  
**'DO NOT..!**' he kicks again  
**'MESS..!'** again**  
'WITH THE MAN...!'** again  
**'THAT I LOVE!'  
** and there comes the last kick.

He leave's the bully lay on the ground, and takes Zim on piggyback hold, and carries him home.

Near Dib's house, Zim mumbles..

'Hey Diblet..?'  
'mmh?'  
_'... with the man i love?_'  
'Huh? Clear up a little.'  
'Does Dib love Zim?'

He keeps silent.

Finally, at home.  
It's a bit difficult to open door, while Zim is on his back, but he manages to do it.

The couch.  
Dib throws Zim on it, and sits next to him.  
Zim puts his legs on Dib's lap as he lays down on the couch.

'Dib...' Zim lets out.  
'You didn't answer Zim's question.** I demand you to-' **he raises his voice

Dib jumps on Zim, and kisses him passionately.

Zim tries to break free from the kiss, but cant.  
And soon, he doesn't even want to stop.  
He wants more.

After a while, Dib breaks the kiss.

'Do you now,_ finally_, understand that i love you?' Dib says while laying on top of Zim.

Zim just lays under Dib, staring at him with a blushed face.

'I love you.  
I've always loved you.  
I may say that i hate you,  
but that just hurts me more than you.  
It hurts to hide love.  
And i cant keep hiding it anymore.  
I love you, Zim.' He confesses

Ever... and i do mean, ever, Dib, or anyone, has seen this happy face on Zim's face.  
It's not laughing.  
It's not smiling that shows your teeth.

It's a small, happy smile.  
He starts tearing.

'I waited for that for so long..' he says with a soft voice.

'I love you, Dib Membrane.  
With all my heart.'  
He ends his sentence.

* * *

** THE END **

* * *

**Thank you so much for reading!**  
**Thank you for all your support, and help!  
****Without you guys, it wouldn't even be possible for me to write this.**

**See ya soon! n v n /**


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